The pain I was feeling was second to none as it felt like someone was forcing a long stick down my throat… Oh my God! Abortion or “Flushing” as the nurse called it, was an emotional and physical experience that had PAIN in CAPITALS… I had paid the sum of N10,000. The nurse who was an excuse for a nurse, was so unprofessional. She had only one more staff present in the hospital that could best be referred to as a mortuary. The odour oozing out of the hospital was worse than a public toilet. The nurse had taken me to a room they thought was a theatre, I was told to lie down on a makeshift bed with my two legs spread in a raised up position. I looked sideways and saw her taking out some long slim rods which varied in sizes.The next thing that happened was pain…. Oh my God! She inserted the long rod into me and I started screaming…She told me to keep quiet in a very loud angry voice. She kept turning and twisting the rod… Oh my goodness! What an irony, the same way I spread my leg in sexual excitement with Papa was the same way I was spreading my leg in pains as someone was thrusting down different iron rods into me to remove Papa’s baby. It must have lasted 5-10minutes. I was cleaned up and told to leave. As I stood up to leave, I saw the nylon bag that was filled with blood… “ YOU JUST WASTED A LIFE” I heard it, I heard those words loud and clear. I turned to see who spoke but no one… I knew that must have been God…. I immediately became afraid. A sudden fear gripped my heart. My phone immediately started ringing. I checked the caller ID as I moved to the reception, it was Papa… I sat on one of the chairs to receive the call… “ Hello…” “ Hello Timi.., Good Afternoon, I am sorry for my reaction yesterday… I need us to talk, we need to expose our error, and besides I don’t think you should do the abortion. It is a sin , I am ready to bear the responsibility and face the shame. And if it means us getting married, I will know it is my cross…” Papa said I didn’t know what to say as I realized I had just made a big mistake… “ I just did the abortionnnnn…” I said and for the first time, it felt like a veil had just been pulled off my face. “ What!” Papa said I could hear him breaking down in tears… “ Timi…. Why…. what have you done to me… I just rose up from a revelation after praying all night for mercy. I saw a revelation where I was told that my first fruit is a destiny child to usher in wealth for me…, but Timi you have terminated my first fruit…” I heard Papa wailing… We both started crying on the phone, but my relief from the pain below my belly was short lived as I heard the angry nurse saying… “ Hey hey… You need to leave, you have to go home to rest.” She said as she was pulling me from the chair. It felt like she was literally pushing me out of their hole called a hospital. I had a high pain threshold, so I groaned in pain silently as my lower abdomen was hurting on my way back to the hostel. After Papa had dropped the call in tears, I had called him repeatedly but he did not pick up. I laid down on my bed groaning and weeping. “ What have you done to yourself Timileyin?” I asked myself “ I was trying to play God, I was trying to find myself a better place where I could drop all my baggage and live in peace” I answered myself.. “ But did it turn out that way?” I asked myself again “ No…I have lost Papa…” I replied “ You should have left the pregnancy “ I said to myself “ And disappoint my parents the second time?” I screamed at myself I wept thinking how things did not go as planned…and how I had wasted a life…
To be continued
