Semimar on Relationship
Topic: Building The Right Relationship
Minister: Pst Adenuga Boluwatife
Tonight, I’d be teaching the topic : BUILDING THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP.
I’d like us to be as free and as open as we can be tonight. The session is going to be really interactive. A lot of Christians find themselves caught up in wrong relationships simply because they refused to talk about it. Many people are missing it in the body of christ due to the fact that we see the church as a place to display our holiness. On the contrary, the church is a place for sick people. It’s supposed to be a place where we express our weaknesses and try to work on them.
But reverse is the case today, everyone wants to claim to be holy while sexual immorality and relationship issues and killing us daily, but tonight, I’d like us all to cooperate, feel free ask questions and express ourselves. I pray God will help us ijn.
Quickly, the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary (8th Edition ) defines relationship as the manner at which two or more people deal with each other. There are different types of relationships but because of our time, our discussion tonight will be based on ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP I. e relationship between spouses.
How do you build the right relationship?
First…
The bedrock of every relationship is LOVE.
The point is, A lot of people have created their own definition of love. Some mistake lust or infatuation for love. I wanna ask everyone here tonight a question. If you find out that the person you’re in a relationship with is HIV positive, would you still remain in the relationship?
Alright. Let me say this. If you have not loved a person to the point that you would think of staying in the relationship if the person is infected with HIV, then… I put it to you that you are not in love at all. I know this might sound weird but let’s look at it from this perspective. God forbid someone here got to find out that you are HIV positive, how would you feel if your partner leaves you because you have the disease? Please I want us to think deeply and be factual with ourselves tonight. Actually… I put everyone on this platform through a test tonight and we failed😎
I was expecting someone to at least say, “it’s hard o”, or “my boo has been there for me, I can’t just leave him like that ” or “It will pain me o”…
But all I got is… I’d run away straight 🤣🤣. Do you know what I could deduce from our replies? I was able to deduce that it’s possible that a lot of us here tonight are not really in love. If you truly love your spouse, you won’t be able to answer the question on time. Hope you’re getting something?
So first things first… You need to be sure that you are in love with your spouse before venturing into the relationship.
2 ENSURE THAT THERE IS A RIGHT REASON FOR GOING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP
A lot of people go into various relationships for various reasons… Money, beauty, physique, shape, height, complexion, connection, diction, dress sense…Name it!I’ve seen people go into relationships because the guy has pink lips, What happens if he becomes a chain smoker tommorow and then the pink lips are gone? Some people also go into relationships because of peer pressure and loneliness, some low sed esteem. For example, someone from a broken home who doesn’t feel loved at home might decide to go into a relationship because some guy or lady is showering them with the attention they’d never get at home, Some, because of age factor or people’s opinions
The most common reason for going into relationships these days is friendship.
A lot of us has intimate relationships with some guy or girl. You know, you get to chat on whatsapp everyday and night, you send each other pictures, you have some things in common and so on. You begin to spend so much time with the person and then feelings begin to grow, Has anyone ever felt this way before? Almost everyone has been in the shoes before 😎🤣. The thing is… Our minds are very flexible. The moment you begin to spend time with an opposite sex, feelings will grow. Body no be firewood now!😎…abi? I want you to know that that could be a wrong reason for going into a relationship. Such relationships doesn’t last. There’s a 50/50% chances of such relationship lasting. Love should be natural not as a result of chatting excessively.
- YOU MUST KNOW YOUR STAND IN CHRIST.
Some people are still struggling to find their feet in Christ Jesus and they want to go into a relationship. How would it be if a church goer, not a Christian… is in a relationship with an unbeliever? If they get married, what kind of children will they raise? You are not faithful in your relationship with JESUS who gave his all to die for you, how would you be faithful with your spouse that sacrificed just #5,000 for you? See… If you see Christians beating their wives, you should question there Christianity. If a man fears God, he would remember that the Bible says in the book of Ephesians that husbands should love their wives.
A person who has found his feet in Christ will never hurt you. Though, there is no perfect relationship. You should change that person before going into the relationship, else, if you plan to marry such a person, you might be setting a lifetime trap for yourself.
NOW THAT YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP, HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN IT?
- Communication: Communication is very vital in every relationship. How often do you call your spouse? How many times do you talk a day? Do you call him /her when you wake up in the morning or when you go to sleep at night? Some people are in relationships, they won’t speak for weeks, what kind of relationship is that? Some all they do is whatsapp and facebook love. Lack of communication can destroy a relationship. That’s why you’ll see some social media relationships, on their whatsapp,you’d see “boo for life ” but when they fight,you’ll see”oloribu” .
Relationships that people can determine what is happening between you guys on social media, That’s not good enough. Ensure that you see your spouse, at least once in a while. It might not be healthy for Christians to see each other often because our self control level differs a lot, some people no fit hold body 😎
But if you know you can’t control yourself around your spouse if you see each other, meet at the mall or an eatery. Go out to see movies at the cinema or game house. You should create time for someone you love sir, No matter how far.
- NO SECRET, NO LIES!
This is also very important. Secrets and lies has destroyed a lot of relationships. Never hide anything from your spouse. Even if you have aborted before as a lady, let him know, if he loves you,he would stay. Else, if he finds out in future, wahala ni o. - Finally, FORGIVENESS
Learn to forgive, no matter how deep the wound hurts. The tables might turn at anytime, always put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
To those of us who are in relationships, when last have you bought your spouse a gift? When last have you sent your spouse a text message? (not whatsapp oh), when last have you visited each other or celebrated each other? Some of us will have issues in our relationships and being to discuss it about. You don’t know the mind of people, some people might not be happy with your relationship, what advice do you expect them to give you? Imagine a Christian asking an Alfa for advice on relationship because the Alfa is your uncle or confidant. They’ll advice you based on their knowledge of The Qur’an. Now I’m not condemning the Muslims here. Relationship is not for babies, Relationship is for matured minds. Don’t let people that you don’t share the same visions with destroy your relationship. And let me say this before I leave. There is no perfect relationship, you have to love your spouse with their imperfections.That is what love is about, helping each others weaknesses
Conclusively, If you relationship is not glorifying God, please you don’t need it. If the trumpet sounds while you’re fornicating after all your work before God, what shall we say?
I’d like us all to take a minute to pray wherever we are.
Prayer point : Lord help me build the right relationship, let my relationship not lead me to hell, I refuse to end up in the wrong marriage, I soak my marital destiny into the blood of Jesus. Thank you Lord, IJN WE PRAY.
Thank you so much everyone for your time
May we not enter the wrong relationship/marriage ijn.
God bless you all.
God bless De Inspire platform.
I celebrate you all for reading
