©️Opeyemi Akintunde
Travelling back to the house that night was the lengthiest thirty minutes travel I have ever embarked on. I am sure you are surprised I am calling a thirty minutes drive travelling. That’s was how it felt like when I left Segun.
He had cut short my expectations. I had no hope anymore. As always it had been proven to me once more that I was a mistake. I began to wonder if this was what my birth mother went through before deciding to give me up. For the first time, the flimsy thought of giving up my two sons for adoption crossed my mind, so I could end my sorrowful life.
Walking into the house I had called home for nine years, and marital home for over three years was another nightmare. F.D had removed all our court wedding pictures. Apparently, after we had discussed taking off with our true love and I left eagerly around 2pm, F.D had cleared the house of anything that indicated we were a couple.
“Since she will be coming tomorrow, I decided to clean the house of anything that may rouse her suspicion” F.D said excitedly on seeing me.
” We have a problem”, I said hitting the nail on the head.
“What’s wrong?” F.D suspended what he was doing.
“Segun does not want me, he only wants the child, as always I am not wanted again” I said in a rush but slowly I dropped on the ground in tears.
“F.D, what have I done to God to deserve this undeserving life. No one wants me. Rejection has been trailing me all my life. Even you, F.D, I thought you would never leave me, but you are leaving me for another woman.”
“I’m not leaving you Leni”
“Yes, you are… You will marry her and relocate and I will have no one.” I screamed in frustration
“Leni … stop crying… To hell with Segun. We will go back to my original plan. I will keep you as my wife, I will take care of you with her money.”
“Don’t leave me…” I cried the worst I have ever cried… I could feel F.D slipping from my hands though physically I was in his tight embrace…
“Please don’t leave me, please F.D …”
I cried and cried till I was running out of breath. My soul was in pain, and It felt like my soul wanted to escape from my body. The pain of rejection my heart was experiencing was excruciating. I could feel my heart failing… It felt like a heavy stone had been placed on my chest and I was fighting hard to breathe. Tears escaped my eyes effortlessly…
I began to gasp for breath…
“Leni… Leni … I heard F.D calling my name loudly but my heart couldn’t take the pain anymore. I wanted out.
xxxxx
Seeing Leni passing out in my hands is one image I never pray to see again. I saw my sister dying because of me, because of the choice I was about to make.
“Leni…. Leni… Please wake up…. don’t do this to me… please…” She laid in my hands heavy and lifeless. No one to call. The boys were already asleep. I rushed into the kitchen getting some water. I splashed the water on her face.
“God, please wake Leni up, If she wakes up, I promise I won’t leave her, please, please.”
I kept sprinkling the water on her face.
“Leni, please don’t do this to me, I promise I will love you forever, no one can take your place in my life. You are my sister, my friend… Please…”
I couldn’t think of my life without Leni. Though we grew apart in the past few years because of marriage, but seeing her lifeless body was not a sight I was ready for…
She moved her head…
I screamed….
“Thank you Jesus”
In my subconscious I heard all his promises. I heard him promising not to leave me.
“As much as I want to be with you, I can’t. I have a lot going on in my life right now…. I am sorry…”
I had deleted the message almost 12 times, not having the courage needed to end what we had just started some hours earlier…
Eventually, I summoned up the courage I needed and sent the text. It wasn’t up to five minutes, she replied…
“I see…I would have appreciated it if you were man enough to tell me that all you wanted was just to have my pants down. Thank you for letting me have high hopes of a good life after 3 miserable years and crushing it”.
I crashed in the living room. I wanted to cry so hard, but I had to control myself. I had to cover my mouth with my hands to silence the outburst of a painful cry that was looking for a way to unleash itself. Leni was sleeping in the bedroom and I didn’t want to wake her up. The day had been an eventful one for her…
I could hear a form of cry that was suppressed. I pulled myself up. I checked my two sons and they were fast asleep. I stepped down from the mattress and followed the muffled cry. I tiptoed wanting to know the real situation.
As my intuition suspected, It was F.D. He was sobbing deeply, but as a way of suppressing his voice, he was crying into one of the throw pillows.
“ F.D loves this woman no doubt” I concluded.
I was in pain that he was in pain. F.D was first my brother before the father of my child…
I walked towards him. He caught sight of my legs and quickly he dried his tears…
“ You love her…” I said affirmatively
“ Not anymore” He denied
“ You are speaking to Leni…” I reminded him there was no point hiding
“ Why is life complicated?” He asked
“ I don’t know, but one thing I know is that we will try to survive despite the complications. F.D, I give you my permission to marry her, so you can be happy but promise to keep me happy.”
I couldn’t help my tears as I rested my head on his shoulder. Don’t blame ENITIOLENIYAN ( Someone Who has no one) for following the wind…
“ I will survive this again, I will survive the life of living as the secret wife.”
To be Continued…
