KEMI: onihaxy, please call your brother, time is going and I need to go back home on time.
ME: ****scrolling through my phone*** I don’t know what is delaying him since, he is travelling today and he had to go on time.
KEMI: please call him abeg ***restless***
ME: **dial segun’s number and placed on loudspeaker****. Hello guy, where are you now?
SEGE: bros I’m sorry, there was a long queue at the ATM, when there was about 6 people before me on the queue, the ATM went out of cash and couldn’t dispense money.
KEMI: haaaaaaaaaaa **oh God***
ME: haaaa, so what are you doing now?
SEGE: I am on my way to zenith back ATM at hospital road, I should be there in a moment.
KEMI: ***restless, I don’t think I can wait***
ME: segun please hurry up, my love has to return back home on time.
SEGE: ok bro ****hanged up*****
ME: ***dropped the phone and turned to kemi****. My love, please wait for few minutes, he would be here.
KEMI: ooooooh God, I don’t like all this things, my family must have be looking for me now.
ME: ***pats her on her laps*** I’m so sorry my love. Please I’m sorry.
KEMI: ok, I will wait for only 20minutes. Go and get my recharge card for me first.
ME: ***chaii, gbese!!!!!!!!, how I go take escape this one oooooooo!!!**** ok dear.
KEMI: please hurry up.
ME : ok, let me go out and get it.
I picked my phone, went out of the house and chat with segun.
ME: sege how far? Where you dey?
SEGE: I dey inside the joint wey dey down the street.
ME: ok,
SEGE: wetin your babe dey talk?
ME: she say she go wait for 20 minutes for
you to be back
SEGE: funny. She go wait tire ooo. Just find means take discharge her for today. She go come back tomorrow.
ME: who tell you that one?
SEGE: I know her type, she no go wan miss the awuf outing.
ME:hmmmm, I hear. But she dey demand for card oooo
SEGE: like how much?
ME: 400naira.
SEGE: e no too much na, afterall you go pay olosho 800naira per round of sex if you go ashawo joint . Go buy am give her.
ME: I hear.
I went to the vendor and purchased a 400naira mtn and returned to the room to give her. She smiled when she received it and I know that she would be like “since recharge card don sure, shopping too go sure ni yen oooo”.
After about 17minutes of meaningless gist, she became uncomfortable again and she
began to ask of segun. I picked the phone to call again.
ME: sege, where are you?
SEGE: I dey on queue.
ME: please hurry up, my wife need to return on time.
SEGE: there are many people infront of me oo, it will take me about 40minutes to be back home.
ME: ok, just hurry up. **hanged up***
KEMI: I’m not sure I could wait again, I need to return home before my family began to look for me.
ME: if they are searching for you, they would have called you on phone
KEMI: I didn’t come with my main line that they have.
ME: huuuuuh, eyah.
KEMI: let me go, we would see tomorrow.
ME: **yinmu***, and I wish you could stay a little ooo
KEMI: no I can’t, tell your brother that I can’t wait. We would see tomorrow.
ME: ok my love.
Kemi stood up from the bed and we both walked out of the door. I waved at a bikeman and told him where to drop kemi. I paid the bikeman and kemi was driven off.
About 3 seconds later, I got a whatsapp message on my phone from segun, ” my guy welldone, you don dey sharp small small”. I smiled on raised my head up to the opposite direction and I saw segun walking towards me
Segun and I went inside my room, we began to discuss.
ME: sege, that babe tight ooooo
SEGUN: tight as how?
ME: I mean the hole still tight
SEGUN: ***hissed***, I thought you meant “she is fine”
ME: but she fine small oooo
SEGUN: na true, pass bimpe sebi?
ME: ***got furious**** for where?, she no even reach half of bimpe’s standard **** argument continues***
SEGE: ****counter argument*** she fine pass bimpe, she get burst pass bimpe.
ME: “lailai” this one wey get pimples?, for where?………..
SEGE: *** pats me on the laps****, onihaxy my guy, I just wanted to hear what you would say. I No still like this your bimpe.
ME: hmmmmmmmm
SEGE: its very obvious, if it could be possible, I know you can reconcile with her again.
ME: no be so jaree. Kemi no just fine reach bimpe.
SEGE: onihaxy onihaxy!!!, “oko bimpe”
ME: you no well
SEGE: just go and do HIV test, you hear?
ME: let’s put that aside jare, how is tomorrow going to be?
SEGE: **** re-adjusted sitting position***, onihaxy, I dey reason something
ME: what is that?
SEGE: let’s forget about any show tomorrow.
ME: why?
SEGE: there is nothing to defend yourself with.
ME: how?
SEGE: by now, she believed I must have returned from bank and the money must have been ready.
ME: so?
SEGE: what would be your excuse for not taking her out tomorrow?
ME: ***hmmmmmmmm** and you have points oooooo. So what do I do now?
SEGE: sebi you don Bleep her today, that one don reach, just excuse her for tomorrow.
ME: give me an idea to use
SEGE: ******thoughts for a while*****. You know what?
ME: what?
SEGE: just call her this night and tell her that your boss called you to come to work tomorrow morning but you will leave on time so as to have the chance to take her out.
ME: it doesn’t make any sense, she would still be expecting an outing.
SEGE: chai, you no get any sense at all.
ME: oya borrow me senses jaree
SEGE: when its tomorrow morning, you will keep on calling her at intervals telling her to give you little more time and that you would soon be through. You would keep posting her until the time is gone and spoilt.
ME: ***shake hands with segun***, sege baba. Chaii, I never reasoned to that instance sha. You too get sense.
SEGE: you no well ni. I told you, girls don’t scam me, na me dey scam girls.
ME: sege baba ***hails**
SEGE: “oko bimpe, oko kemi”….
Segun and I had more discussions until he left for his house. I saw him off and came back inside my room to call kemi as instructed by segun.
ME: hello love.
KEMI: hi dear, you couldn’t even call me since morning
ME: I’m so sorry dear.
KEMI: no problem, is bro segun back
ME: ****silent****** hello, I can’t hear you.
KEMI: I said “is bro segun back”?,
ME: ** stammered**, not yet, but he called me just now that he is on his way coming
KEMI: ok, so tomorrow, I would come in the morning, and please I want to return early because today, my family members were insulting me for going out. So I’m sneaking out tomorrow.
ME: dear, errrrrhmmmmm. There is a little problem
KEMI: what is that dear?
ME: my boss just called that I should come to work tomorrow morning for some assignment.
KEMI: haaaaa.
ME: don’t worry dear, I would leave there on time so as to have time with you.
KEMI: ok, where is your office located?
ME: oba adeshida road.
KEMI: no problem, I would come and meet you at work tomorrow and we would go for the shopping directly from there?
ME: *******yeeee, I don jam****, ok dear
KEMI: and if you weren’t able to finish your work ontime. I would collect the money from you when I meet you at work tomorrow and then do the shoppings on my own
ME: ****** I don enter am*** ok love
KEMI: alright dear
ME: good night ****hanged up****
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 12, PLEASE LIKE OR COMMENT IF YOU ENJOYED THE STORY
