FUNMI: anyways, my birthday is on thursday.
ME: waoh!!!!!!, happy birthday in advance
FUNMI: thanks my dear. So where are you taking me to?
ME: *** chuckled**** till then sha.
FUNMI: ok oooooo. go back to your work and do have a nice day.
ME: alright funmi.
I opened her door and walked out of her office with smile on my face. The ladies sitting at the same floor with me were amazed and surprised with my mood, I guess they were surprised to see me smiling. One of the ladies followed me as I walked out of the office while heading to the E-banking unit and she caught up with me and we walked together and got talking.
LADY: “Onihaxy, wetin query mama said to you?”
ME: nothing, she just asked me why I was absent on friday.
LADY: yeah, that is true, why are you absent?
ME: I wasn’t feeling fine, so I went to the hospital
LADY: ok onihaxy. But wait, are you sure you aren’t related to query mama?
ME: I’m not, why did you ask?
LADY: because it looked so strange the way she treated you and relate with you among other staffs. I will just urge you to keep praying to always see her good side.
ME: ***smiled**** thank you.
We got separated at the exit of the walkway, I went to the E-banking unit to deliver funmi’s message while she branched elsewhere. From there, I went to meet my teamlead and join other team members for a connect session.
Throughout the session, the teamlead emphasised more about funmi and how she dashed out queries like christmas gifts and he urged everyone to be dedicated to their work and also meet up with targets.
After the session, everyone began to murmur on how she almost sacked someone on friday because of a costly mistake from the person and some of her harsh leadership attitude were also been talked about , I began to wonder and I asked myself, “why am I the only one not seeing the bad side of this lady?”.
I resumed back to work after the connect and worked till break time before hanging out with my friend on whatsapp.
ME: sege how far?
SEGE: I dey jaree. How is work and your wives?
ME: fine jaree. Segun, something happened today.
SEGE: another bimpe issue abi?
ME: you no well, why must it always be about bimpe?
SEGE: because bimpe na resident evil na. So gist me, what happened to her this time?
ME: its not bimpe, its my boss.
SEGE: your boss?, she don sack you?
ME: you no well,
SEGE: oya wetin happen?
ME: she just seemed to like me among other staffs and I don’t get the meaning for it.
SEGE: maybe she admires you, short fine boy na, e no easy.
ME: you no well, but seriously, everyone is always facing and complaining about her bad sides, I’m the only one not seeing her bad side among the new staffs. Even my senior staffs in the same office with me are getting envious.
SEGE: hmmmmm, how old is she?
ME: she will be 48 on this week,
SEGE: how did you know her age?
ME: from popular gossips.
SEGE: what is her present marital status?
ME: single mother of two. A 19years old girl and a 15 years old boy. I heard she lost her husband like 3years ago and she refused to re-marry since then. The daughter is in the university and the boy Is in college.
SEGE: omo!!!!!!!!, 26 to 48!!!, the margin wide die. But that doesn’t matter sha, she can be your sugar mummy.
ME: sugar what?, you no well.
SEGE: hmmmmmm. Sit down there, “o je jara e”. So what is now the problem?
ME: she almost suspected me of travelling on friday because she said she saw me at the park. I had to lie to her that I went there to send a package to my family.
SEGE: correct guy.
ME: her birthday is this week, I don’t know what to present to her.
SEGE: just find out her best interest.
ME: interest as in?
SEGE: what she like most. Maybe gadgets, fashion, her best colour and so on.
ME: hmmmm. I only observed she likes smart skimpy dresses with a touch of red.
SEGE: what about jewellery?
ME: she doesn’t use heavy jewellery
SEGE: that’s fine. Get her a nice sets of red underwears, a nice gown with touch of red, a little perfume and probably a wristwatch. Pack everything together and present it to her.
ME: haaaaaaaa!, those things are too expensive now
SEGE: they are not expensive, everything shouldn’t cost you beyond 5k, at most 10k. Trust me you will get something more than that in return.
ME: something more than that as how?
SEGE: decode that yourself. What I told you to do is simply called future investment.
ME: ok boss.
SEGE: onihaxy, guess what
ME: what is that?
SEGE: I have discovered who was behind the scam.
ME: really?, who?
SEGE: it was my landlord’s son I told you about.
ME: how did you find out?.
SEGE: I searched for the name of the account details on social networks and I found 8 matches on facebook, I did thorough research on the 8 accounts and I found out that my landlord’s son is a friend to one of the accounts.
ME: hmmmmm. Detective sege!!!!!. So what are you going to do next?
SEGE: I’m trying to gather evidences from my other 2 friends, from there, I will go to the bank to lodge a complain about the transactions and I will involve the police. Just watch me.
Me: hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
The following day, I went to a supermarket and purchased the things segun told me to buy, I packaged them inside a nylon and took it home. I was scared to present them to funmilayo on her birthday. I wanted to send the gifts to her through someone else but segun said I must deliver it to her myself.
On thursday morning. I left home so early so as to get to work on time. I got to the bank at few minutes to 7am. I went to my office, checked around and found out that my colleagues who shared the same floor with me weren’t around yet, I picked the gift and went to funmi’s office, I knocked on her door several times and got no response, I pressed the lock and found out it wasn’t locked. I opened the door , entered and I saw her bag on her table.
“Funmi must definitely be around, maybe she went out” I thought. I dropped the nylon on her desk, I picked a pen and paper from her desk and wrote “happy birthday from onihaxy” and inserted it inside the nylon. I turned back and held the handle of the door to open it.
As I opened it, I saw funmi walking towards the office and she was looking at me in a weird manner. I was shocked and my legs began to shake on the floor. It was as if the ground should open and swallow me alive. Funmi came closer while I stood still at the entrance of her office.
ME: good morning funmi
FUNMI: morning onihaxy, and what are you doing in my office?
ME: nothing, I just came to wish you happy birthday but I met your absence.
FUNMI: ok, thank you very much for the wishes. Hope you brought enough cash to take me out for lunch today?
ME: ***smiled**** no problem
FUNMI: ***smiled*** alright dear, have a nice day at work.
ME: thank you.
I walked out of the office immediately with fear filled up in my mind. I hanged around with the other team members till the connect session began and ended. After the connect, I resumed back to my desk and my heart began to beat faster.
“What if she find the gift embarrassing?”
“What if she get angry?”
“won’t I loose my job because of this act?”
“Hope she won’t change towards me?”
“How do I even face her if she calls me?”
I sneaked my phone out of my pocket and positioned my self in a way that no one would see me using a phone during official hours. I buzz my friend to come online.
ME: sege!!!
SEGE: oko bimpe (bimpe’s husband), how far? You don present the gift?
ME: yeah. I did that this morning.
SEGE: you gave her the gift yourself one on one?
ME: no oh, I dropped it on her table.
SEGE: onihaxy, why you dey Bleep up like this na?. Something like this needed to be presented one on one. Not only that your gift will be appreciated, but your boldness to think of such gift items and present it yourself without any fear would be much more appreciated and it will spell maturity.
ME: I no know before.
SEGE: e never spoil finish, its possible that she calls you, just be bold enough to face her and give any explanation she demands.
Me: ok boss.
SEGE: no wahala. Give me an update later in the night.
ME: no wahala.
I dropped my phone and opened my outlook on my system. I saw a message from funmi. I opened it with fear filled in my heart and it read thus
“thanks so much for the gifts, I appreciate them. Just that I’m so surprised how exactly you knew my size”.
ME: ***chaiiiiiiii*** I don hammer.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 20
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