BETTY: .. onihaxy, I saw your chain when cleaning your room, you didn’t tell me you have started using chains because I never noticed any chain on you since I met you.
ME:*** chain!!!! e don finally happen **** don’t mind me jaree. it was one of our staffs who forced it on me to buy from her. she sells jewelries.
BETTY: ok dear. I also saw a wrist watch belonging to aunty bimpe, how did it get to your room?
ME: ***** see wahala oooooo******* who told you its her watch?
Chaiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!.
“She had caught me red handed”
“What do I do now?”
“Should I tell her the whole truth?”
“How do I explain how the wristwatch got to my room?”
” hope it’s not the beginning of the end for Betty and I?”.
My brain went blank and I couldn’t think of a possible solution. I couldn’t reply Betty anymore on bbm and I couldn’t make calls because I don’t even know what to say or type. I switched off “mobile network” on my phone and I began to think of ideas. I thought and thought but I couldn’t provide any meaningful idea or solution. I have no other choice than to contact segun. I couldn’t reach him from my phone because I had switched off the mobile network. I then remembered I saw a recharge card umbrella towards to entrance of the estate and I walked towards to place. I met the vendor who happened to be a slim and fair lady, I asked if she operates a call center and she replied that she only sells recharge cards, I then begged her to allow me recharge on her phone and call with it which she agreed. I purchased an airtime of N200 and recharged her phone which I later used to call segun.
ME: hi segun.
SEGE: how far onihaxy?. How far with the lunch date?
ME: it was fine
SEGE: gist me na. You bleeped her abi?
ME: segun, that will be another time. I’m not in mood for that now. I’m in a serious problem and I couldn’t think of any meaningful solution
SEGE: what happened?. Is it with your boss?
ME: no
SEGE: with Betty?
ME: not really
SEGE: then what is the problem?.
ME: it’s bimpe.
SEGE: bimpe kee?. Is she related to your boss too?
ME: no
SEGE: then what?
ME: she has caused trouble between Betty and I.
SEGE: how?
ME: segun, let me confess to you, I can’t hide anything from you. It happened that I was on my way from oshodi last week saturday when she was driving by and parked beside me.
SEGE: I’m listening.
ME: then she asked of my destination and I told her I was going home. She then offered me a ride which I accepted. She dropped me at home and stopped over to relax a bit during that period.
SEGE: then you bleeped her again right?.
ME: no I didn’t.
SEGE: then what?.
ME: she pull off her wristwatch before she relaxed and forgot to take it along while going. So I kept the watch in a safe place. I don’t know how Betty dug it out and saw it.
SEGE: and how did Betty knew the watch belongs to bimpe?
ME: she said Bimpe’s trademark is on the watch which I didn’t even realize.
SEGE: what trademark?
ME: letter “B”.
SEGE: onihaxy, there is something you aren’t saying. How can someone pull off her watch just to relax?.
ME: I’m serious segun. Ok, she helped me in the kitchen before relaxing. I think that was when she pulled off the watch.
SEGE: so what happen now?
ME: i don’t know the explanation to give to Betty concerning the watch.
SEGE: then tell her the truth, just the same way you are telling me right now.
ME: haba segun. You know that is too risky. How do I explain that her brother’s wife helped me in the kitchen and left her watch at my place?
SEGE: haven’t I warned you several times to back out of this bimpe of a thing?, haven’t I warned you that one day, you will expose yourself?. Now it has happen, so deal with it.
ME: segun please help me, there must be another way out. I trust you as my last solution bustop please.
SEGE: onihaxy!!!!!!!!!. I will offer this last assistance just for the sake of friendship.
ME: thank you very much ore mi.
SEGE: next time you have any problem with this your witch woman called bimpe, don’t just try to involve me because if you do, I will turn you down.
ME: haaaaaaa!!!!!.
SEGE: I mean it onihaxy. If as a friend, I advised you on something and you still decided to follow your own path, then bear whatever comes out of your sturbon decision.
ME: ok sir, so what do I do now?.
SEGE: shebi you said you told bimpe to make a medical report for you the last time you came to akure?.
ME: yes.
SEGE: and the report was dated that particular Friday?
ME: yes
SEGE: do you have a copy of it at home?
ME: no, I submitted the one I had to my Teamlead.
SEGE: then stop by at a cafe and make another copy from your email. Make sure it’s a coloured copy.
ME: ok, what do I do with it.
SEGE: when you get home. Tell Betty that the bank wanted to have medical examination of all staffs and you decided to do yours at bimpe’s hospital since her brother’s wife works there.
ME: ok, I’m listening.
SEGE: and on getting there. Bimpe was the person that attended to you and you saw the wristwatch on her hand and you liked it. Then you asked for the product and price so as to get your own.
ME: ok.
SEGE: but you aren’t sure to remember the shape and description so you begged her to borrow you her own watch so that you can take it along to a watch shop and get the exact type.
ME: but the watch is feminine.
SEGE: then tell her you wanted to get the type for her as a surprise package. So you wanted to make sure it’s the exact type, so you borrowed bimpe’s own to show the watch seller.
ME: what if she asked for her own copy of watch that I bought?.
SEGE: tell her the seller said he didn’t have the type at the moment and he promised to get back to you as soon as he has it. And that he had already seen the watch from you and recognised the brand. So you haven’t been chanced to return it back to bimper, And thank God she is around. She would help you in returning the watch to bimpe.
ME: SEGE the genius!!!!!. Thanks so much ore mi.
SEGE: just make sure you have a copy of that medical report, because that will be the only thing that would convince Betty that bimpe didn’t come to your house. Make sure you stylishly drop the paper somewhere first and then bring it out when you start telling the stories.
ME: thank you so much segun.
SEGE: one more thing. Call your evil wife bimpe before you get home and update her on the game plan so that she won’t be caught unaware.
ME: ok boss.
SEGE: on a final note onihaxy. Whenever you have problem with bimpe again, don’t try to involve me again because I will never be part of it.
ME: thanks boss. Talk to you later. ***hanged up***
****chaiiiiiii, segun don tire for my matter oooooooo ********
When I was through with segun’s call, I checked the balance on the phone and it was around 18naira, I purchased another airtime worth of N100 naira to call bimpe. I checked my phone and saw her contact and then dialled it in the vendor’s phone. It rang for a while before she finally picked it.
ME: hello bimpe,
BIMPE: *****silent*****
ME: hello oooooooo
BIMPE: hi onihaxy, how are you?.
ME: I’m fine. why aren’t you talking before?
BIMPE: just wanted to be sure that it’s you. shebi you said there won’t be any communications between us this period?.
ME: yeah, I said so. but there is a problem.
BIMPE: where are you? and where is betty?
ME: I’m far away from home while Betty is at home.
BIMPE: so what is the problem?.
ME: Betty found your watch in my room?.
BIMPE: she found what?
ME: your watch
BIMPE: oooooooh gosh. onihaxy, what exactly is your problem?. can’t you just keep things in order for once?. the last time, it was text message she saw, now it’s my watch. how on earth did that happen?
ME: she said she was doing some clean up and she saw it.
BIMPE: onihaxy, you are just so careless. why will you keep such item in a place where she would see it. don’t you have any other safe place in your house?. honestly I doubt it if you can manage two women together at a time.
ME: haaaaa.
BIMPE: yes. I have been living with both her brother and her in this house and I still communicate with you and no one found out. how come it’s always from you that mistakes do occur.
ME: I’m sorry about that
BIMPE: so what do we do now?
ME: I have a plan.
BIMPE: what is the plan?
ME: I will show her the medical report you sent to me and I will tell her that I came to your hospital for medical examinations from my bank, then I saw the watch on your hand and I liked it and wanted to get the same for her, so I collected yours as a sample to show a watch dealer in order to get the same for her.
BIMPE: ok, so what do you want me to do?
ME: I just wanted you to play along with me. she might want to call you or ask questions.
BIMPE: I just hope it works out. seriously, you are annoying onihaxy.
ME: no vex dear
BIMPE: ***hanged up*****
****chai!!!!!!!, BIMPE too dey vex!!!, then it means I seriously bleeped up******.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 26 (FINAL)
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