FUNMI: ok, now that you are alright, will you now answer me?.
ME: hmmmmmm, I don’t have a girlfriend.
FUNMI: why?
ME: the last one I had broke up with me because I wasn’t buoyant to meet up with her demands then.
FUNMI: and you thought it was her fault?
ME: **smiled*** whose fault then?.
FUNMI: Are you not the one who told her you work in a bank?
ME: ***laughed***
FUNMI: yes now. So what do you expect from her?, not to make demands when she knew too well that her guy is a banker?
ME: funny enough, it was before I got the bank job. Then, I was teaching in a secondary school earning 15,000naira monthly.
FUNMI: ***laughed*** eyah. Now that you have been working in the bank for over four months, why don’t you get her back?
ME: since she couldn’t endure with me during the tough times, then she isn’t needed now that I’m a bit ok.
FUNMI: ok ooo. Now that you are a banker, don’t you have another girl?
ME: ***smiled*** Lagos girls are too expensive to maintain, and with the little salary that I earn. I’m not sure I can meet up with their demands.
FUNMI: hmmmmm, onihaxy, you must be very stingy.
ME: no ooo, it’s not been stingy, it’s about cutting your coat according to your size.
FUNMI: hmmmm, who is your crush in the bank, don’t lie oooooooo.
ME: hmmmmmm. I don’t have any crush ooooooo.
FUNMI: you mean you don’t like anyone out of all the pretty girls in that bank?.
ME: ****smiled*** I like most of them as a friend.
FUNMI: so why didn’t you date anyone of them?
ME: you know I’m a temporary staff with just 6 month contract. So I needed to figure out my destination after the end of the contract. And besides, I heard that girls don’t always date temporary staffs because they aren’t going to stay long with the bank.
FUNMI: hmmmmmmmm. So you mean you don’t have feelings for anybody in the bank.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmm. Yeah, except for one lady sha who happen to be a superior colleague.
FUNMI: **smiled***. That aside, what are people saying about me?
ME: what people are saying about you as how?
FUNMI: I mean among your colleagues.
ME: nothing much oooo. Some feared you, some call you query mama, some call you silent lioness.
FUNMI: really?
ME: yes.
FUNMI: alright.
We finished eating, stood up and walked toward the reception. Funmi presented the receipt to the cashier and was about opening her purse when I told her “let me pay”.
She returned her pause back to her bag while I paid and we drove back to the bank while we continued to gist long the way. Funmi thanked me for the meal and she told me that she would be looking forward to more outings.
I got back to the bank and went to meet my other team members at their office just to check on them before going to my own office. On getting there, I was bombarded with numerous questions.
“Where are you coming from?”
“I saw you in Query Mama’s car”
“Where did both of you went to?”
“Are you related to her?”
“You are doing eye service abi?”
“Or was it because you are sitting at her entrance”
“I hope you won’t see her bad side someday”
“Abeg ooo. Remember us in your kingdom during promotions ooo”
The questions and discussions were just going on spontaneously and I was shocked to realize that people had not been actually minding their business. I was frustrated and I left them and returned to my own office only to meet the “gossip ladies club” in my office waiting to interview me on my outing.
I got home in the night after work and I was flashing back to what happened previously in the day, I was so happy that I went out on a date with my boss and it was as if I won a jackpot. I picked up my phone and logged on to whatsapp to chat with segun.
ME: hi segun
SEGE: how far onihaxy.
ME: I dey jare. Something happened at work today?
SEGE: really?, oya gist me.
ME: I was on my seat when funmi called me and I went to her office. She said she wanted to send me on an errand to get food for her.
SEGE: ok
ME: then I told her that I would buy it and pay from my purse just like you advised, then she said I should rather take her out for lunch instead of buying a takeaway since I would be paying for it.
SEGE: waoooooooo. So what happened next?
ME: we drove out to one big restaurant and hanged out for lunch. The total cost of our expenses was close to 4k. The money pained me oooooo, because that amount was my weekly budget.
SEGE: don’t look at it from that angle. Instead, look at it from the angle of investment. Atleast you have earn a class from her with that simple approach. And besides, how much is 4k compared to the 30k she gave you for rent like 3 weeks back?.
ME: hmmmmmmm. you are right.
SEGE: yes na. So what were the discussions you guys had during the outing?, or was it just eating?.
ME: funny. She asked of my girlfriend.
SEGE: girlfriend kee?, has she met betty before?
ME: no oooo. She asked in this manner “how is your girlfriend?, tell me about her”
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. Na interview be that oooo. So what was your response?
ME: I told her I don’t have anyone at the moment.
SEGE: correct boy. She didn’t ask why?
ME: she asked and I told her that I was heartbroken 8 months back and since then, I decided to stay out of relationship.
SEGE: that’s not too bad sha.
ME: she asked if I loved or had feelings for anyone inside the bank.
SEGE: omo see practical question. So what was your reply?
ME: I told her I don’t have feelings for anyone except someone who happened to be my superior.
SEGE: chaiiii, see good strategic answer. Correct boy. One bottle of Alomo for you for that response. You don dey blend be that.
ME: hahahahaha.
SEGE: what did she say after your response?
ME: she smiled and changed topic.
SEGE: it shows that she already understood where you were going but she doesn’t want to be too forward.
ME: really?
SEGE: yeah. She just wanted you to be man enough to push further.
ME: man enough?, she said something like that when I was in her office.
SEGE: really?. What happened and why did she say so?
ME: when I said I would go to the eatery, buy the take away from my purse and bring it to her in her office, she said I wasn’t man enough because I was supposed to take her out and not to go out and bring takeaway. That was when we decided to go out together.
SEGE: correct madam, she already gave you all the code, she just wanted you to be man enough to decode it.
ME: hmmmmmmm.
SEGE: yes na. Don’t worry; we will talk about that later.
ME: ok boss.
SEGE: were you the one that drove the car?
ME: no ooooooo.
SEGE: why? Haven’t you started driving the car Betty gave you?
ME: no, I’m still learning. But in two to three weeks’ time, I should start taking the car out after getting my temporary license.
SEGE: it’s ok. How is your wife?, hope you are hearing from her?
ME: who?, bimpe?
SEGE: you no well, wetin concern me with that stupid girl.
ME: hmmmmm
SEGE: are you guys still talking?
ME: no ooo. It’s been long. Since that time Betty saw her watch in my room.
SEGE: ok oooo. Thank God you are now taking to advice.
ME: yes boss.
SEGE: I was referring to Betty. Hope she is fine?
ME: yeah. We always do video chat on Skype and chat almost every day.
SEGE: hmmmmmmm. I go love ooooo.
ME: Abi now.
SEGE: my regards to her oooooo.
ME: ok boss
SEGE: I want to take a break from akure for some days.
ME: why?, what happened?, you have impregnated someone abi?
SEGE: you no well, I didn’t impregnate anyone jor, I just wanted to change environment for some days.
ME: come to Lagos now, at least, I live alone.
SEGE: ok, no problem. I will come next week.
ME: ok boss. Atleast, you will meet bimpe again.
SEGE: two of you no well. If I see her again this time, I will strangle her to death.
ME: hahahahahahahaha. You are not serious. Let’s chat tomorrow jaree. I’m going to work tomorrow morning.
SEGE: alright, good night.
Bimpe continued to call me on phone all through the day from Monday till the middle of the week which I continued to ignore. She would ping me and send series of message which I didn’t reply. I tried all my best to ignore her completely and stay away from her but she would never stop calling. The last text she sent to me was on Wednesday night of the same week. I arrived home from work that evening feeling so weak and tired as usual. I decided to play some games on my phone that night to cool my brain after the stressful day at work. Around few minutes to 10pm, I got a whatsapp message on my phone, I opened it and it was from Adebimpe’s secret number and the message goes thus ” I can now see how wicked and heartless you are, after all I did for you, after loving you with the whole of my heart, after keeping and nurturing a seed for you, all you could do is to start ignoring me, I just want to tell you to be ready for whatever consequence that will come later, Good day”.
I got scared again and became restless. Lots of strange thoughts began to flood my mind.
“What could be the consequence?”
” Haven’t I gotten myself into another trouble?”
” Is she going to tell betty about it?”
“Or is she going to tell henry?”
” Should I take her threats serious?”
” Is she really going to do anything bad to me?”
” Onihaxy, you are in serious trouble with this girl”.
I couldn’t sleep that night as I continued to think and ponder on the text. I thought of calling segun to inform him but I remembered that he told me he would never be involved in anything related to bimpe again. Even if I decided to inform segun, how would I tell him that I impregnated bimpe?.
I got to work on Thursday the next day and I began to feel uncomfortable and scared, the thoughts of adebimpe’s text message continued flashing back to my mind and I couldn’t concentrate well at work. I was always checking my phone at intervals to see if adebimpe would call or send a message and I was surprised that she wasn’t calling me again and this got me scared the more. Throughout that day till Friday the next day, I was still feeling so disturbed until around 6pm when my phone rang, I checked and it was henry on the line.
“Chaiii, I don die!!!!!!”.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 5
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