“onihaxy, your Adebimpe is calling you. I knew it, you will never listen, I knew it that you are still communicating with this witch”.
ME: segun, seriously, it’s not what you think.
SEGE: then what is it? That you find it difficult to stay away from a witch who is on the course of ruining your relationship, life and career?
ME: segun, if I didn’t pick this call, Betty’s brother will be angry with me seriously.
SEGE: you mean bimpe’s husband?
ME: yes.
SEGE: is he the one calling?
ME: no oooo, its adebimpe.
SEGE: I still don’t understand.
ME: ok hold on, let me pick the call
*** picked the call and talked for like 4 minutes*****
SEGE: so, what is going on?
ME: I avoided her, ignored her calls and told her not to call me again; can you believe that she reported me to her husband?
SEGE: report you?, is she insane?
ME: I was surprised too. Her husband even summoned me to come to lekki last week sunday.
SEGE: really?, what happened when you got there?
ME: henry flared up and he was angry with me. He said I don’t always call and I also ignored her wife’s call. He said I don’t look serious and he couldn’t trust me with his sister anymore.
SEGE: ehn ehn? Really?
ME: yes. He even asked me the main reason why I was ignoring his wife
SEGE: what did you now tell him?
ME: I told him that it was a transferred aggression. Or how will I explain to him that his wife was my “ex”?, it’s definitely going to bounce back on me and it can ruin my relationship with betty.
SEGE: hmmmmmmmmm. That’s true.
ME: so I had no choice than to promise henry that I would be calling both him and his wife, and I will also be picking calls.
SEGE: hmmmmmm. There is definitely a way out,
ME: really?
SEGE: yeah. But that’s a topic for another day, let’s talk about Betty. That is what mattered most to me.
ME: what happened to her?
SEGE: I still think you should let her know what happened between you and bimpe in the past, I still have this thought that will soon find out.
ME: segun, do you think it’s that easy?
SEGE: why not?, just tell her u had an internet relationship with bimpe in the past and both of you didn’t see each other.
ME: hmmmmm.
SEGE: just paint it like that so that it would look as if you didn’t see bimpe not to talk of having anything with her. Just tell her that it was an internet relationship and it later crashed because of distance.
ME: hmmmmmmmm. It’s still hard to say ooooooo.
SEGE: ok, let’s do it this way.
ME: how?
SEGE: just tell her the way I said it, but tell her that it happened to your friend.
ME: I still don’t get it.
SEGE: I mean, tell her that your friend needed an advice on a particular situation, then present it that way and hear her view and response.
ME: hmmmmmm.
SEGE: yeah, if her response is the same as what I told you, then come out plain that you are the one involved, but if her response is different, we will try another approach.
ME: but she doesn’t know any of my friends.
SEGE: she knows me now?
ME: really?
SEGE: yeah, I spoke with her on phone sometimes back when you were with her in Ado-Ekiti.
ME: yeah, I remembered. But I don’t think she would still recollect anything about you because we didn’t discuss anything about you after then.
SEGE: no problem, I will speak with her on phone throughout my stay here, atleast to familiarise myself with her, then you can bring up the topic some other time.
ME: that’s my boss.
SEGE: but be careful in relating with this girl, remember that she is smarter than you.
ME: ***** laughs*********
I called Betty that night and she got to meet segun again on phone, we spoke for some minutes before hanging up while segun and I resumed playing “PES” till late in the midnight before going to bed.
The next morning which was Saturday, we woke up very early in the morning to prepare breakfast and we did some exercise while I took my car out for driving lessons thereafter alongside with segun. He drove the car as we proceed to the training ground; he sat on the chair at the training ground while he watched me as I was driving all through the session. The instructor suggested that we should hit the street, I was so happy as i sat on the driver’s seat, my instructor sat beside me while segun sat behind me at the back seat as we toured the street and later returned to the training ground. “Onihaxy, you are good enough now, I wondered why you aren’t hitting the streets yet since it’s an automatic drive?” Segun said as I closed for the training. He drove the car again as we were going home and we branched at a bar not too far from my house. We located empty seats and sat down, I ordered for an energy drink while segun ordered for a legend stout.
SEGE: onihaxy, I don’t really think I can settle down in this Lagos.
ME: but why?
SEGE: the stress and the high cost of living. To even acquire land and build house is a problem, touts won’t let you have peace of mind.
ME: you are right sha, but in terms of job opportunity, I think it’s far better than Akure. One can easily get jobs here
SEGE: that is if you are a job seeker, to my type that is self-employed, I don’t need such opportunity.
ME: hmmmmmmm
SEGE: yes now, and special thanks to Nollywood industry for adding to the population of lagos on daily basis.
ME: nollywood films?, how?
SEGE: in their films, they would show a poor boy or girl from the village who was been taken to lagos by an uncle/Aunt. In the next scene, you would see ” three years later” beneath the screen and the same poor village boy/ girl is already living in a duplex and driving range rover sport.
ME: ******laughs****** you no well segun.
SEGE: abi now?, so why won’t lagos be over populated when the movie industry continued to tell us that you can’t make it until you get to lagos.
ME: hmmmmmmmmm. You are right sha.
SEGE: yeah, that reminds me, how is funmi?
ME: you mean my boss?
SEGE: yes
ME: she is fine. You remember I told you about the outing we had the last time?
SEGE: yeah. I think she likes you, you just have to thread carefully so as not to ruin everything.
ME: hmmmmmm.
SEGE: anything that has to do with relationship and romance in a corporate environment needed to be packaged carefully especially in the bank. And your own case is even delicate, you and your female boss.
ME: you are right segun. Even in my office, people had started gossiping about us.
SEGE: that you are dating her?
ME: no, they were saying I was related to her, some are saying I was doing eye service to get favours from her.
SEGE: hahahahahaha, office and gossips, highly inseparable. Just be careful, I don’t want you to loose Betty at all.
ME: hmmmmm, you don’t want me to loose betty?, and you are motivating me to hook funmilayo?
SEGE: off course, it’s certain that you can’t marry funmilayo now, she is far older than you and she has kids at tertiary institution. I’m sure you don’t want to be a step father to grown up kids.
ME: funny you.
SEGE: yes. So keep funmilayo for office favours and promotions, keep Betty for marriage and stay away from Adebimpe completely.
ME: hmmmm, you seemed to like this Betty, even without seeing her physically.
SEGE: onihaxy, that girl is a rare gem. It’s so hard to see a multi-millionaire daughter loving a poor dude like you with the whole of her heart; it only happened in the movies, I told you before now.
ME: hmmmmmmm.
SEGE: yes onihaxy. If I was lucky to have that type of girl, I swear I would have built house and acquired many things through her and I would have gotten married to her since.
ME: hmmm, acquired house and other stuffs by scamming her abi?
SEGE: what do you expect?, when I’m not dull like you, Mr holy bishop.
ME: it’s not like that segun, I’m not just into obtaining things from women, it doesn’t bring respects at all.
SEGE: we are talking about money and you are talking about respect. To hell with respect
ME: hmmmmmmm.
SEGE: don’t worry, I will speak with Betty on phone when we get home, I know she must have few rich girls as friends. You know the rich make friends with the rich
ME: what do you want to do with the girls?
SEGE: I will persuade her to hook me up with one of them na.
ME: ***laughs**** seriously, you aren’t serious segun. What about the ones you are dating presently?
SEGE: I will simply drop them for the new rich girl now, afterall, you dropped kemi and lolade for Betty.
ME: no oooo, I already broke up with them before I met Betty.
SEGUN: that’s a lie onihaxy, you met betty on baddo while you were still dating lolade.
ME: na you sabi, that one aside. Segun, I needed to break contacts and communications with bimpe, but since henry and Betty are now involved, I just don’t know the way out.
SEGUN: don’t worry about that; just leave that to me to figure out.
ME: hmmmmmmm.
Segun and I continued with our gist until about 6pm in the evening, we stood up and left the joint after I paid for the drinks. I drove the car home because segun was very high on bottles.
Segun spent three weeks with me in Lagos before returning back to akure. Throughout his three weeks of stay, he succeeded in getting closer to Betty, they would always talk together on phone anytime she called me or I called her. Segun also got to be introduced to a lady known as Sandra. According to Betty, Sandra used to be her childhood friend back then in Abuja before she travelled out for her degree in Europe, she said Sandra’s father lived in the same neighborhood with her daddy and they also attended the same secondary school.
Betty gave out Sandra’s facebook details to segun and she promised to follow up on her friend. As a very sharp guy, my friend added Sandra up immediately and they started chatting. Segun told me “onihaxy, wahala dey ooooo, as this girl doesn’t stay in Nigeria, how do I cope now?”, I smiled and replied him “don’t worry now, she would definitely come back home one day, so you need to start building the platform ahead of her return, She might even help you to travel out to meet her if she decided not to return home”.
After segun’s departure, I started driving my “Honda Evil spirit ” to the bank. The first day I drove it to work; it was on a Monday morning. I washed and cleaned the car during the weekend, I arranged the photocopies of all the documents inside the safe, I attached the “learner L” sign properly and warmed the engine on Sunday night. I drove to the bank, horned at the security to open the gate. One of the security came out and told me to wind-down, I did that and he was surprised to see me driving. He opened the entrance gate and I drove in. I parked the car at the staff park and as I was opening the door, I saw one of the ladies sharing same office with me alongside two members of my team walking inside the compound and they saw me. “Heeeeeeeeeeeee, onihaxy!!!, we must celebrate it ooooooooo.” They were all screaming as they walked closer to me. Their voices attracted some other people closed by to the scene and I felt embarrassed with the way they began to peep at the car and bombarded me several questions.
I entered my office to relax for a little moment before attending the connect session and I was shocked that the car was the topic on ground that was been discussed among the ” gossip crew” in my office. On noticing my entrance into the office, they started asking their own questions.
“Onihaxy, I heard you brought a car”
“Is that true?”
“Which make and model?”
“Is it manual or automatic?”
“How much is the cost of the car?”
I answered the few I could answer while I dodge the rest. I left my office and went to meet my other team members for the connect session and I was more shocked that the news had gone viral among them, I was just hearing “congratulations onihaxy, we must wash that car oooo”. My team-lead even announced it during the meeting that onihaxy brought a car to office today and I faced another set of questions from my team members.
“Onihaxy, is the car yours?”
“Was it your office mother that gave you?”
“How much did you saved out of 50,000 every month to buy Evil spirit?”
“Or the car na borrow pose?”
Questions was coming in from different angles and I got frustrated and didn’t know what to say, I just replied them saying “the car was sent to my mum and my mum decided to give me since she has a small one she drives”. The connect session ended and I returned to my seat. I picked my phone and I had a gist with Betty and segun about what happened in my office about the car, they both laughed and found it funny. At break time, Funmi sent me a mail to see her in her office. I suspended what I was doing and went inside her office to see her, “ooooh, this woman wanted to send me on an errand again”. I got to her office and knocked and she told me to enter.
FUNMI: ***smiling*** Mr onihaxy!!!, have your seat.
ME: **pulled out the chair and sat down**** thank you funmi.
FUNMI: hmmmmm, I heard a rumour that you brought a car, is that true?
ME: ****smiled**** yes.
FUNMI: is it yours? Or was it borrowed?
ME: its mine.
FUNMI: **surprised** really?, have you been saving up for it before you joined this bank?, or was it out of your monthly 50k you bought it from?
ME: **smiled** actually, it was sent to my mum from my uncle in Abuja, and since mummy already had a small car she drives, she decided to give me this one.
FUNMI: hmmmmm, mummy’s boy!!!!, ok, that’s cool. Won’t you take me out to celebrate it for me?
ME: *****chaiii, wahala dey oooo****
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 8
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