I was thoroughly dirty, and I knew I needed to wash myself clean. I approached Favour to give me what to use, she gave me everything I needed,from soap to sponge to the toothpaste, but I noticed I didn’t collect her toothbrush. I told her I had my toothbrush. I woke up from that dream. What was God trying to tell me? That was about a week of staying with Favour. Favour would go to work every morning and return around 5pm. She made everything available for me, from my toiletries to new clothes to enough food. Although, I couldn’t eat much as I was having so much going on with me. My state was the state of someone who was partially happy and partially depressed. I was partially happy because of the Joy of the Lord I was experiencing especially when Favour was around to share the scriptures with me. It was always a time I bubbled with Joy. Favour was grounded in the word of God. She explained scriptures so easily, she made it fun, and uncomplicated. I was partially depressed on the other hand, because of the personal demons that tormented me. First, Chinaza was always making love to me in my sleep every night after I got to Favour’s house and that was largely because before I slept I would fantasize about Making love to Favour. You wouldn’t blame me because, Sex was a daily thing prior to that time, but since I had become born again, I couldn’t do it any more, but I was running crazy. Anytime Favour came home, my body goes to vibration mode, but I would always put it under control as we did our Bible study. I knew I needed to leave Favour’s house if I didn’t want to lose this salvation I had just received, but the dream I just had was self explanatory. Favour had the key to my deliverance and purging. She was the one God wanted to use to give me what I needed to wash myself clean, though I also had my own input which was the toothbrush I had…. “Hmmm, but how do I survive God, when I am sexually attracted to the one who ought to help me get clean?” I braced up and went to Favour’s bedroom, I knocked at her door and waited for her to give a response. “ Yes!” “ It’s me Chuks, I am sorry I just need us to have a discussion, I had a dream I want to share with you!” This was around 2:30am “ Come in!” She was asking me to come into her bedroom… No!, I didn’t trust myself to that point.. “No please, let me stay in the living room!” I quickly left her door before I changed my mind. She walked out of her room in a short night gown with nothing under, I could see her well shaped breast… “ Jesus!” I shouted “ What is it?” Favour asked “ Nothing… Please Favour, please can you wear something less revealing, please..” I said at this point Favour looked at me and smiled “ Self discipline!” She said I knew she wasn’t going to change so I turned my back to her and started talking… “ Emm… I had this dream where…” I narrated the dream to her. “ So what do you think it means?” “ I think it means you are to help me get clean” I replied with my back still turned to her “ Exactly and that is what I have been doing” With that she walked towards me and stood directly in my front…. “ Sometimes washing a very dirty cloth might be a very hard work and you might need to be very hard and firm with it, I am placing before you life and death, choose one?” She said and continued “ Are you going to choose the easy option of your emotions and the devil controlling you to rape me, where you enjoy 5 minutes of pleasure and lose 5 years of glory. You once told me that with your Spiritual googles you saw ladies losing their stars when you made love to them, so do you want that to happen to you again?. Remember, the Bible states that For All have sinned and fallen Short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23….Chuks don’t you know that those stars that left those people when they committed sexual immorality is the Glory of God…. Whenever we fall into Sin, we fall short of the Glory of God, which are those stars you saw, so brother what is it going to be? Are you ready to fall short or lose some of God’s glory in your life by having sexual immorality with me…?” She asked I stood numb as I watched in amazement as Favour had just given me a simple and easy to understand meaning of Romans 3:23 and why I should control my sex urge, not to be controlled by my Sex urge… “ I am not ready to lose any more Glory because the last time I checked Chinaza told me I only had 1% virtue in me left.” “ God is able to turn your 1% around,He can even increase it, Samson lost his hair, but when He returned to God, His hair grew back. Your virtue can return back to 100% but if only you are ready to be obedient and follow the ways of God.” “ I am ready?” I said as suddenly I felt a shift in my brain, I wasn’t looking at her breast anymore, I was thinking about my deliverance, I was thinking about recovering back my virtues I had lost on the laps of different Delilahs. “ But, can you do me a Favour?” “ Ok, Favour is my name?” She joked “ Can you help my spirituality by covering a little bit when I am around so I have less to worry my head about or could you help me get another accommodation?” I pleaded but Favour didn’t buy that… “ You still don’t get it, you need to stay here and grow to the point that, even if I stand before you naked, you should still be able to control your mind” Favour said I had heard enough and I suddenly blurted out “ But you are inhibiting my self control. Is it possible for a preacher to have her breast out and be ministering on the Altar?.. I have been seeing a lot of them on your T.V, with tight fitting tops and buttocks shaped skirts, but it is not right…The truth is almost all the men in the congregation will spend more time thinking of how well shaped the female minister is and how they can grab their breast especially baby Christians like me. First instance, yesterday I was watching a male preacher on your T.V, who in the name of trying to be youthful wore tight fitting pants that showed the shape of his crotch, that instant the homosexual demon came whispering nonsense in my heart….!, That is the same way I feel anytime you are around me dressed in shorts or clothes that expose your body, because in this case you are my pastor. Please help my salvation!” Favour didn’t have words… I felt I had been too hard on her “ I know what you are trying to do and I really understand, even with the explanation of Roman 3:23, it is simply life delivering, the knowledge you have imputed in me for days has been great but your appearance is affecting me, I fantasize about you every night which makes me have wet dreams..” I realized I must have said too much, but I knew I had to say it, silence was consent, I knew If I continued with this, I might go into Masturbation or was I wrong to have voiced out against my preacher? To be continued
