© Ayo Omolayo
OPE’S POV
I sat down on the chair and folded my arms across my stomach. I bent over squeezing my stomach tightly. I can’t imagine this was still as strong as never before.
I stood up in a jiffy and started walking from one end of the room to another.
Haaaaaa! What’s the meaning of this nonsense? I can’t believe it’s still here.
I’m nothing but a product of God’s mercy. A survivor, but here I am walking around as if God didn’t show me mercy. Something is definitely wrong somewhere.
Could it be this is how I was created? Could this be how I was designed? No! God has nothing to do with this! But I have prayed, why was this thing still as powerful as ever before?
I needed help. The images kept flashing through my head. So you mean even after escaping hell, I’ll still come back to this struggle? You mean I’ll still fight with the same thing that almost landed me in hell?
No! I can’t do this to myself ever again. I am the temple of the Holy Ghost. I cannot defile myself. I must be pure! I must be Holy! I cannot fight and lose against it. I cannot masturbate ever again. I can’t.
I was still saying this when I discovered I was grabbing my skirt and squeezing the fabric madly. I was beginning to expose my thighs and it was a shock to me.
“No!” I screamed inwardly
“I can’t do this!”
But the images of refused to disappear. They kept showing me all the good times I had. How the feeling of exciting myself immorally was. How I felt so high and made dirty sounds in the name of demonic pleasure.
The feeling was so enchanting and the voice calling me to hell was so strong.
“Just this last time. Do it just this once and then tell God you’re sorry. He understands. He’ll know you tried your best. He’ll show you mercy just as he always had. He’ll forgive you your sins. Just put out this fire and have peace of mind. It’s not a big deal. Just one more time and that would be all.” That evil voice suggested enticingly.
“Satan I know you very well. This one last time is a scam. I know you very well. If I masturbate now, I’ll spend a whole month masturbating before I’ll be able to recover myself.
I have been on this path before. I’ll tell myself that I’ll masturbate only once and I’ll end up masturbating for the whole day and even the next day. I’ll keep masturbating untill one month will pass and I’m still at it for every single day.
This one last time is nothing but a scam. I cannot start what I cannot finish.”
While I was saying this, I had already raised my skirt up again.
“Haaaaa! Jesus help me ooooo!” I said as tears clouded my eyes.
“CALL YOUR MENTOR!” Came the gentle whisper.
I knew I had recieved an instruction. I turned to take a look at the clock.
“But this is 1:30 am. Juliet must be fast asleep by now.”
“CALL HER!”
I knew I had to try my luck. This is serious. I thought seeing what hell looked like was enough to kill my passion. But I never knew there was more to this. I never expected I’ll struggle with the urge to masturbate again.
I picked my phone and dialed her number. I was surprised when she picked.
“Haaaa! Mummy! I thought you would be sleeping by now?”
“We just rounded up our midnight prayers. I’m still awake so when I saw the call, I knew it must be something important.”
“Yes oooo! It is serious. Mummy, Satan is screaming my name from hell. He is seriously agitating to grab me and drag me into hell. As I’m talking to you right now, my entire body is on fire.
I feel like I’ll go crazy if I don’t masturbate. I’m trying to resist it. But the more I’m fighting the feeling, the more I’m seeing myself almost giving in. Mummy please help me.
I don’t want to disappoint God ever again. But my flesh is so weak. Please help me, before I go crazy!”
There was a brief silence.
“Mummy, are you there?”
“Yes I am! Sorry for the late response.”
“Yes ma! Please what can I do?”
“Ope! Take your Bible and open to the book of 1 Corinthians 10:13.”
I quickly opened my bible on my study table and read.
“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
“Ope, I’m reading from the Easy English version. You may often want to do wrong things. The things that are difficult for you are difficult for other people too. Remember that God is always there to help you. He will not let any bad thing be too difficult for you. He will help you to stand against it. When you want to do something wrong, God will make you strong in your spirit. He will show you a way out, so that you do not do anything wrong.
Am going to read from the amplified bible version.” Juliet said and paused.
“It says, No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful to His word. He is compassionate and trustworthy, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and will always provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy.
Do you know what this scripture means?”
“No ma!”
“It means that first of all, all the temptation that comes your way are never stronger than you. Can you imagine?”
“Mummy! This masturbation is strong. I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate on anything right now. My body is seriously on fire. This masturbation is seriously stronger than me,” I answered.
“Lie!” Juliet shouted.
“Ma!” I called, shocked by her response.
“That’s exactly what the devil wants you to believe. Let me ask you a question. Is God a liar?”
“No!”
“So if God says that no temptation that comes your way is stronger than you, that means he’s telling you the truth, right?”
“Yes! But!”
“No dear! Stop that but! There’s no but in God’s word. The bible says you are seated with Christ in the heavenly places, far above principalities and powers. You are far above masturbation.”
“Mummy you’re just talking fake realities. I’m here about to defile myself and you’re busy telling me what is not true about my situation.”
There was silence for a few minutes.
“Ope! Do you believe in God’s word?”
“I do, but why is he not bringing his word to pass in my life?”
“If you believe, then act accordingly. There’s a principle to overcoming this masturbation.
Open to Romans 6:12.
I quickly got my bible and read.
“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
Verse 13. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Verse 14. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.”
“Ope, I’m reading from the amplified bible version. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts and passions. Do not go on offering members of your body to sin as instruments of wickedness. But offer yourselves to God in a decisive act as those alive raised from the dead [to a new life], and your members all of your abilities. Sanctified, set apart as instruments of righteousness yielded to God. For sin will no longer be a master over you, since you are not under Law as slaves], but under [unmerited] grace as recipients of God’s favor and mercy.
Ope, don’t allow sin to rule over you. Do you know the meaning of the word yield?”
“No!”
“It means to stop resisting a person or a thing and finally give in. That’s the meaning of yield. So resist that urge.
God will never allow you to be tempted above your ability. He’ll always provide a door of escape so you will be able to bear that temptation.
“Mummy, what’s the door of escape for me right now? Is it to run out of the house? Where do I go to this night?”
“No! All you need to do is to resist and bear it.”
“Mummy, I’m trying my best, this thing will overpower me,” I complained.
“Ope! Believe God’s word and act on it. Can Lucifer force you to masturbate?”
“No!”
“So tell the devil that until he comes physically and squeeze your head and forces your hands to defile yourself, you’re not moving an inch. Tell him to come and force your hands to masturbate. Tell him to pour all the fire he can pour on you.
He is powerless Ope. All his agitation is only to get your cooperation. As long as you say no, he’ll carry his shame on his head and go home.
Lie down on that bed and cover yourself with your blanket. The word of god says he gives his beloved sleep. Keep quoting that scripture and shut down every image that tries to tell you no way out.
If you can’t beat them, you join them is a slang from the pit of hell. You are more than a conqueror Ope.
Ope say that to yourself!”
“I am more than a conqueror!” I replied.
“Say it again!”
“I am more than a conqueror!”
“Now say, masturbation hear me! Ope is more than a conqueror!”
“Masturbation, hear me! I Opeyemi, daughter of the most high God! I am more than a conqueror! Masturbation you cannot defeat me. I am not just a winner, I’m more than a winner.
I don’t know what defeat looks like. Jesus has conquered you on the cross. And he said it it finished. You are finished. Your dominion over my life is over. You are finished!” I began to say to myself.
I didn’t know that the call had ended as I ran out of airtime.
No temptation that ever comes my way is stronger than me. Hmmmmm! So am I really stronger than masturbation?”
“DO YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE?”
“Yes!”
“BE IT UNTO YOU ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH!”
I exhaled and sat on the bed.
“But Daddy, I’m still feeling the urge.”
“WHO DO YOU OU BELIEVE, GOD’S WORD OR YOUR FLESH?”
“God’s word!”
“GOOD, FOR WHILE WE LOOK NOT ON THE THINGS WHICH ARE SEEN. FOR THE THINGS WHICH ARE SEEN ARE TEMPORARY. OPE, THIS SEXUAL URGE IS TEMPORARY.
ENDURE IT. BEAR IT! YOU WILL NOT DIE! GO AND LIE DOWN ON YOUR BED AND SLEEP.”
“Daddy, I cannot sleep, this thing is disturbing me.”
“YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRST WHI STRENGTHENS YOU. FOR WOTH GID ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!” That was the response I got.
I laid down on the bed and covered myself with the duvet. The images of how I pleasured myself while lying in that position played in my head.
“CASTING DOWN EVERY IMAGINATION AND EVERY HIGH THING THAT EXALTS ITSELF ABOVE THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOD.” Came the scripture.
“My hands are God’s hands. I’ll never use them to do what God would never do if he were possessing this body. Satan force me if you can.”
I shut my eyes and laid down as the urge continued to fight me for expression.
“Keep fighting me Satan, until you drag my hands, you’re wasting your time. You think you are smart, but now I know your secret. I have power all this while. I have power over immorality. I was an oppressed believer. I was under demonic oppression. Sin, you will not have your way in my life!”
I didn’t know when I slept off. I woke up the next morning, sound and revived.
To be continued……….
This episode is dedicated to all those who have been bold enough to share their deepest secret with me.
Believe me, feeling are deceptive. They’ll always come with fill force and make you think that they are the alpha and Omega.
It’s a lie.
When someone brings sin to you and say, ‘ let’s commit sin together.’ Flee!
When the urge to sin in the secret comes knocking, tell him NO!
I have discovered something about sin. Sin is only powerful when you give it attention. No wonder the bible say, don’t allow sin to rule your mortal bodies by obeying it’s desires.
When it comes with full force. It’s aim is to get you to obey him and do his bidding.
No wonder the bible says, submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.
No urge is too strong, say no to it Keep saying the no. Endure, endure, endure, that feeling will die. It cannot stay forever.
But when you say, ‘ I can’t take this anymore. Let me do it and had peace of mind!’
That’s exactly what the devil wants to hear.
I believe this message is for someone.
