“Onihaxy, its me adebimpe, if you still need your credentials, deposit a sum of 200,000 naira to the account name and number below, as soon as I confirm your deposit, I will give you a call and send the credentials to you via a public transport, if you try anything funny, you will be the one to suffer the consequences, bye and take care”.
ME: what!!!!!!!!
SEGE: 200,000 what!!!!, where do we get such amount between now and tomorrow?
ME: what do we do now?
SEGE: I’m clueless onihaxy.
Me: segun, today is wednesday and I have to travel for this job tomorrow, where will I get 200k now?
SEGE: onihaxy calm down, getting the 200k isn’t the issue.
ME: why is it not an issue?
SEGE: Adebimpe is the major issue
ME: how?
SEGE: can’t you see it clearly that this is a blackmail business?
ME: I still don’t understand
SEGE: the way I’m seeing it, Adebimpe will never send any credentials to you even if you pay a million naira
ME: why did you say so?
SEGE: someone who is so desperate for a revenge and even went to the extreme of having your vital credentials in her custody, why should we trust her when it comes to money?
ME: hmmmmmmmm. “Ayemi ooooo, Temi bami”.
SeGE: onihaxy, come to think of it, someone who switched off her phone all this while and only send text once in a while, it is so obvious that she would switch off again after getting the deposit alert.
ME: it seems you are right. So what do we do now?.
SEGE: let’s do it this way. Call her number first and let’s negotiate with her.
ME: ok **dialled her number***
SEGE: is it going through?
ME: ***phone: the number you have dialled is unable to receive call**** Its saying unable to receive call, what does that mean?
SEGE: it means she barred all incoming calls. You see what I was saying?, this girl don upgrade to “blackmail business”
ME: **wanted to cry** segun please come to my aid, my world is crumbling, what do I do?.
SEGE: calm down onihaxy, I just thought of something.
ME: what is that?
SEGE: you remembered that you scanned your credentials and sent to a particular firm you applied to in lagos few months ago.
ME: oooh yes I remember!!!, how about it?
SEGE: yes, we will make a coloured printout and laminate.
ME: will it look like the real one?
SEGE: at least 80% real
ME: so how do we go about it?
SEGE: the time is just 8pm. Let’s rush down to the cafe down the street to make the print outs
ME: Are we still going to find a cafe by this time?
SeGE: hopefully, we should.
ME: but I don’t have much on me at the moment
SEGE: don’t worry, I still have like 1k on me.
ME: ok, how about the original credentials with Adebimpe?, am I going to forget it just like that?
SEGE: my guy, when we find a successful alternative, then we can now talk about how to retrieve the one your wife is holding.
ME: which wife be that?
SEGE: your lovely Adebimpe **laughed**
ME: you no well, the girl wey be say I go kill any day I see her
SEGE: the onihaxy that I know will always fall again and again on Adebimpe’s lap anyday anytime.
ME: **laughs**. Seriously sege. You know well
SEGE: na lie?
ME: honestly, e be like say that girl dey use charm on me sef.
SEGE: no be charm, na her juicy honeypot dey kill you.
ME: abeg forget bimpe matter jaree. Let’s go to the cafe first.
SEGE: ok
We walked out of the room and I locked my door, we walked down the street and found out that the cafe had closed. We trekked to the next cafe and we found out that it had been closed also.
ME: sege, what do we do now?,
SEGE: maybe till tomorrow be that.
ME: ok,
I saw segun off and I returned back to my house. I felt relieved and eased. I began to get hungry and regaining appetite for food. I dropped my phone on my bed and went to my kitchen to prepare noodles. I was about to empty the sachet of the noodles into the pot when my phone was ringing. I rushed to see who is calling and it was my uncle ” MR ZACH “. I picked up the call
ME: hello sir
MR ZACH : aburo, how are you?
ME: I’m fine sir
MR ZACH : ehn ehn. My chairman said he is travelling by 10am tomorrow morning,
ME: haaa,
MR ZACH : you know what that means?
ME: no sir
MR ZACH : you have to follow early morning bus. You must be here latest 8am in the morning so that he can attend to you before travelling.
ME: ok sir. Thank you very much sir.
MR ZACH : ***hanged up*****
I suddenly lost appetite again and I began to soliloquies, “this must be the handiwork of the people from my village”.
After few minutes of soliloquies, I looked up to the wall and the time was few minutes to 10pm. What will I do now?, I have nobody else to talk to apart from segun.
I picked my phone to chat with him.
ME: sege, how you dey?
SEGE: I dey fine ooo. Hope you don dey prepare for your interview?.
ME: prepare kee?, wahala don dey ooo
SEGE: wetin happen?
ME: my uncle just called me now.
SEGE: na wetin him talk?. He say the job no sure again?
ME: he talk say the chairman dey travel tomorrow morning by 10am. So I must reach b4 8am.
SEGE: haa!!, how you go do your credentials stuffs now?
ME: I no know ooo.
SEGE: ok, there is an alternative.
ME: what is it?
SEGE: use your phone to access your mail and download them from your email and save it on your memory card.
ME: how will I print it then?
SEGE: I will come to your place very early tomorrow morning around 5:30 to give you a card reader. You will insert your memory card inside it and print the stuffs at any computer centre when you get to Ado.
ME: ok jaree. That’s ma boy
SEGE: that’s my guy too. Bimpe’s surest husband
ME: I no like am ooo.
SEGE: no worry, na me go best you on your wedding day. Lol
ME: you no well.
I logged into my mail and found my Bsc and NYsc certificates only from my sent box. I downloaded both of them. I then realised that it was only the frontpage of my Bsc result I scanned. I didn’t scanned the backpage and the backpage has my school logo and text imprint on it just like that of the front page. I logged in back to my whatsapp to update segun.
ME: sege
SEGE: how far guy?. You don download am.
ME: yeah, but there is a problem
SEGE: what is it?
ME: my oracle certificate wasn’t scanned along during that period.
SEGE: what about the B.sc and NYSC?
ME: I was able to retrieve those ones.
SEGE: that is cool. You can generate an excuse for the missing oracle certificate when you get there
ME: ok, but the Bsc result I downloaded doesn’t have a backpage.
SEGE: backpage as how?
ME: on our certificate. The logo of our school and some text imprints are on the back page with two colours.
SEGE: is the backpage the same for every graduates?
ME: yes, just the logo and the school name written imprinted on it.
SEGE: don’t worry. I have a guy who schooled and graduated from your school 2 years ago and serving presently. I will get intouch with him and scan the backpage of his document and send to your whatsapp before you reach Ado.
ME: **took a deep breath***, thanks jaree my guy. You are too much
SEGE: what are we friends for
ME: my mind just settle small
SEGE: start rehearsing a genuine excuse you will provide for the missing oracle certificate
ME: ok jare padi mi.
SEGUN: abeg, I wan post something on my blog, we go chat later.
ME: ok, goodnite.
I slept off few minutes later until I heard a knock and a harsh voice on my door around 2am to open up or I loose my life. I thought I was dreaming, it was when the knocks and threat was getting intense that I realised that they are armed robbers.
Behold, I opened out of fear and my laptop and my Blackberry phone was carted away. I just couldn’t cry. I was just dump and clueless.
“No doubt, Adebimpe has been going spiritual on me, I don dey suspect say this girl na Emere (witch)” I thought.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 3
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