© Ayo Omolayo
I sat down on the bed and continued crying. I held my pillow tightly and shed unending tears.
Susan kept asking me what happened, but I kept pushing her away. I just wasn’t ready to talk. I was just waiting for sleep to come and take me so I can meet whoever was waiting for me to kill me. I don’t care! I need to be punished severely.
The door opened and Susan walked in.
“Mummy is on her way to South Africa for a ministration. She won’t be around for a few days. If you can’t tell me what happened, maybe you can tell her before she leaves.”
I looked at her and shook my head.
“Please leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.”
“But you’re talking to me right now. We are talking. Juliet, a problem shared is half solved. Don’t keep it to yourself. Open your mouth and let us know what is wrong. Please!” She said with those irresistible pleading eyes, but I wasn’t falling for it.
“Please leave!” I said and laid on the bed to sleep.
She left and shut the door. It was already dark, so the room was dark. I was seriously waiting for sleep to come, but it kept it’s distance.
I saw the lights of mummy’s car turn on as she drove out of the compound. I felt within me that I had just lost a great opportunity, but I wasn’t ready for that. What I wanted right now was a peaceful death. To sleep and wait for Mr Principal to come.
I remembered that we were given an assignment in class, but I waved the thought aside. I wasn’t ready to do any assignment, since I wasn’t sure I was going to school the following day.
“OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND PRAY!” Came the gentle whisper.
“I can’t pray! I don’t even know what to say!”
“THAT’S A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL. YOU CAN PRAY! AS LONG AS NO DEMON CAN CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR TIE IT WITH A PIECE OF CLOTH, PRAYING IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS OPEN THAT MOUTH. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY YOU CAN SIMPLY KEEP SAYING, LORD SHOW ME MERCY. JUST STAY IN THE PLACE OF PRAYER, WHAT TO SAY WILL START FLOWING INTO YOUR SPIRIT.
SO DON’T ALLOW SATAN TO WIN. OPEN THAT MOUTH. DON’T ALLOW THE SPIRIT OF DEPRESSION TO CLOSE YOUR MOUTH. OPEN IT. THERE’S MORE STRONGER VERSION OF YOU THAT THE WORLD IS YET TO SEE.
DEATH IS NOT THE SOLUTION. YOU ARE STILL MORE POWERFUL! YOU ARE MY BATTLE AXE. MY WEAPON OF WAR!”
“You mean I can still win this battle?”
“IS ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR GOD?”
“I know the scriptures very well! But why is it as if these scriptures are not working?”
“JULIET! YOU KNOW WHY. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.YOU KNOW WHERE YOU MISSED IT. YOU KNOW WHEN I WAS TELLING YOU TO ALLOW FEJIRO GO AND YOU SENT OPE AFTER HER. YOU KNEW YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE FEJIRO COMFORTLESS. BUT YOU HARDENED YOUR HEART AND REFUSED TO OBEY MY INSTRUCTIONS.
WHY IS IT THAT AFTER DISOBEYING ME, YOU STILL WANT TO PUT THE BLAME ON ME?”
I wept bitterly.
“I’m sorry! Your way is just too hard. Too hard! I wished the way to heaven was easy. I really wish for heaven to be easy. If it were easy, I would have been the best Christian.
Prayer is too difficult. Studying the bible everyday in this busy world,is hard to keep up with. Fasting, haaaa! I can’t stay without my food. Everything about heaven is not easy. It’s too difficult. Why?”
“JULIET! I AM GOD! I CHANGETH NOT. MY WAY OF LIFE, MY STANDARDS, MY HOLINESS AND PURITY WILL NEVER BE CHANGED. IT IS YOU WHO WOULD ADJUST AND COME SOWN FROM YOUR PRIDE AND SUBMIT TO THE HOLY GHOST. I WILL NOT LOWER MY STANDARDS BECAUSE OF ONE JULIET ANDERSON!”
I wept the more.
“JULIET! THIS WAS HOW ABRAHAM CRIED AND CRIED. HIS TEARS DID NOT MOVE ME OR CHANGE ANYTHING. AFTER ABRAHAM WILL FINISH CRYING FOR ONE HOUR, I’LL STILL TELL HIM TO GO AND SACRIFICE ISAAC.
YOU THINK THIS TEARS WULL CHANGE GOD’S STANDARDS? LORD IT’S TOO DIFFICULT, I CANNOT DO IT! ALLOW ME TO DISOBEY. AFTER YOU FINISH CRYING. THE STANDARD REMAINS UNCHANGEABLE. ITS BETTER YOU LEARN TO SAY WHAT JESUS SAID.
LET YOUR WILL BE DONE! OR WE WOULD CONTINUE THIS RISING AND FALLING. WHICH ONE DO YOU PREFER?”
“Oh Daddy! You’re sounding heartless. You sound as if you don’t care about how I feel!”
“GO TO THE BARRACKS AND ASK THE COMMANDER TRAINING THE SOLDIERS THAT QUESTION. ASK HIM IF HE CARES ABOUT THE FEELINGS OF THE SOLDIERS HE IS PREPARING TO CONQUER TERRITORIES.
ASK HIM IF HE HAS TIME TO PAMPER THEM AND GIVE THEM BREAD AND BUTTER. ASK HIM IF HE WAS TIME TO LISTEN TO SOLDIERS CRYING BECAUSE THE TRAINING IS TOO MUCH.
ALL THE TRAINING IS FOR WHAT? TO MAKE YOU INDOMITABLE. TO MAKE YOU UNDEFEATABLE. TO MAKE YOU A TERROR TO THE KINGDOM OF DARKNESS. TO MAKE YOU ABLE TO REVENGE ON THE DEVIL FOR WHAT HE DID TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND.
AND YOU’RE CRYING BECAUSE THE TRAINING IS DIFFICULT. I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU OOO! DO YOU WANT THE ENEMY TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE? DO YOU WANT THEM TO TURN YOU INTO A LESBIAN? JULIET I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU OOO!
LET ME ASK YOU A SINCERE QUESTION. DO YOU EVEN LOVE YOURSELF?
BECAUSE IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOURSELF, YOU WILL NOT JOKE WITH THIS TRAINING. HOW CAN I BE TEACHING YOU HOW TO DEFEAT YOUR ENEMIES AND YOU’RE TELLING ME ITS TOO DIFFICULT? ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BE A CHAMPION?
HOW CAN I BE TEACHING YOU HOW TO WIN THE TERRITORY FOR JESUS AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU’RE NOT FEELING LIKE PRAYING? PLEASE EXPLAIN, I WANT TO UNDERSTAND.
AT LEAST, LET’S SAY HUMAN BEINGS ARE SELFISH, ABI! HUMAN BEINGS LOVE THEMSELVES SO MUCH THAT EVEN GOD IS STRUGGLING TO FIND A PLACE IN THEIR BUSY LIFE, NO PROBLEM. LET’S NOT COME TO THAT OOOO. LET’S FOCUS ON THAT LOVE FOR YOURSELF FIRST.
IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOURSELF, INTERPRET THIS CRY THAT YOU’RE CRYING AND TELL ME THE ANSWER. DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?”
I wept the more.
“I hate myself. Although I usually open my mouth to say I love myself, but in reality, I was only destroying myself. I’m so sorry Lord!”
“JULIET! YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CRYING. YOU ARE MADE UP OF TWO ENTITIES. YOUR FLESH AND YOUR SPIRIT.YOUR FLESH IS THE ONE SERIOUSLY FIGHTING TO HAVE THE UPPER HAND AND CONTROL YOUR DESTINY. HE IS FIGHTING TO BURY YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE. BUT THE MOST PAINFUL THING IS THAT YOU’RE NOT FIGHTING BACK.
WHY ARE YOU TREATING AN ENEMY AS IF HE’S A FRIEND? WHY ARE YOU MAKING YOUR ENEMY COMFORTABLE? HE ASKS FOR TEA, YOU GIVE IT TO HIM. HE ASKS FOR SLEEP, YOU GIVE IT TO HIM. HE ASKS FOR FOOD AND FED HIM TILL THE STOMACH WAS COMPLETELY FULL.
BUT YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR HAVE ABANDONED TO SORT HIMSELF OUT. PRAYER, I’M TOO TIRED. WORD OF GOD, IT’S DIFFICULT TO FAST, THAT ONE IS IMPOSSIBLE.
AND THE FLESH BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY GOOD THING TO OFFER, DOES WHAT HE KNOWS HOW TO DO BEST, SIN.
GALATIANS 6:8. FOR HE THAT SOWETH TO HIS FLESH SHALL OF THE FLESH REAP CORRUPTION; BUT HE THAT SOWETH TO THE SPIRIT SHALL OF THE SPIRIT REAP LIFE EVERLASTING.
THE CARE AND ATTENTION YOU’RE GIVING TO YOUR FLESH IS ONLY EMPOWERING IT TO DO WHAT HE KNOWS HOW TO DO BEST. I’M NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD STOP TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY. BUT WHENEVER YOU CHOSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FLESH AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR SPIRIT. WHEN YOU CHOSE TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF PRAYING. WHEN YOU CHOSE YOUR PLATE OF RICE OVER YOUR BIBLE STUDY, YOU’RE SOWING TO THE FLESH.
AND JUST AS APOSTLE PAUL SAID IN ROMANS 7:18A. FOR I KNOW THAT IN ME (THAT IS, IN MY FLESH,) DWELLETH NO GOOD THING.
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? ARE YOU READY TO INVEST IN THE RIGHT SOIL? ARE YOU READY TO SOW TO YOUR SPIRIT? OR DO YOU STILL WANT YO PAMPER YOUR FLESH AND WATCH YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE DIE? THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU!”
I shook my head.
“Lord, even if I return to you, what guarantee do I have that I will still not misbehave. Is like you don’t understand my point. I’m saving you stress and heart break. I’m saving you your time. You don’t have to continue wasting your time on this failure of a girl.
I’m saving you the stress of investing so much and getting so little in return. You cannot continue like this. Please find someone else. Ope is there! Romeo is there! They will do a better job compared to this failure called Juliet Anderson.”
“THAT’S THE MORE REASON WHY I WANT YOU.”
“You want me to continue failing?”
“I WANT YOU TO BE A LIVING PROOF THAT WITH GOD, EVEN A FAILURE CAN BECOME A CHAMPION. I WANT TO USE YOU TO END THE DEMONIC PATTERNS IN YOUR FATHER’S BLOODLINE AND RAISE A NEW BREED OF CHAMPIONS.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU TWO CHILDREN. A BOY AND A GIRL, WHO ARE SPIRITUAL GIANTS. I WANT TO USE YOU TO TRAIN A NEW BREED OF CHAMPIONS IN CHRIST WHO WOULD LIVE A CONSISTENT SPIRITUAL LIFE AND PASS IT THEIR CHILDREN AFTER THEM.
I HAVE GREAT PLANS FOR YOU. I JUST NEED YOUR SUBMISSION. I JUST NEED YOU TO SAY YES TO ME. IT’S NOT BY POWER, NOT BY MIGHT, BUT BY MY SPIRIT. JULIET, CAN ANYTHING GOOD COME OUT OF NAZARETH?”
“Yes!”
“SO WHY ARE YOU LIMITING ME? WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT LOOK AS IF IT IS IMPOSSIBLE? WHY IS YOUR DISOBEDIENCE MAKING IT SEEM AS IF GOD CANNOT TRANSFORM A FAILURE INTO A CHAMPION?
YOU ARE MAKING IT LOOK AS IF GOD CAN NO LONGER TRANSFORM A MAN ANYMORE. YOU HAVE FAILED, YES! BUT ARE YOU READY TO TRUST ME AND DO IT MY WAY?
YOU HAVE TRIED SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS ON YOUR OWN AND YOU HAVE FAILED. WHY NOT DO IT GOD’S WAY THIS TIME AND CHECK THE RESULTS?”
I exhaled.
“Lord! I never knew like was such a battle for the survival of the fittest. If I had known.”
“WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? WOULD YOU HAVE TOLD ME NOT TO SEND YOU TO THE WORLD? AS OF YOU COULD TALK OR DICTATE TO ME!”
“If I could, I would!”
“ITS OBVIOUS YOU HAVE NOT LEARNT ANYTHING. ALL WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ALL THESE WHILE DID NOT ENTER YOUR HEAD.”
“Lord have why are disturbing me? I said I am not interested anymore. Leave me alone! Kill me! I don’t care who comes to kill me this time. I will gladly die and leave this earth for good. I’m not the only one. There are thousands of people to send.
Send them! Leave me alone! I don’t want to serve you anymore! I am tired! Is it by force to serve God? Why are you disturbing me? Let me go my own way! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!” I shouted.
” I can’t do this anymore! I can’t! Just kill me and let me be! I have failed and failed in my spiritual life! Kill me and let me go!”
“NICE ONE! DO YOU KNOW WHO ONCE SAID SOMETHING LIKE THIS?”
“Don’t ask me! I’m not interested in anything about you!”
“HIS NAME IS JONAH. AND I TAUGHT HIM A LESSON HE WILL NEVER FORGET IN HIS LIFE.
YOU ARE MY NEW JONAH! JULIET!”
“Leave me alone! I’m tired! I cannot be a Christian anymore!”
That was how the voice of the Holy Ghost vanished.
I felt a deep vacuum within me, but I hardened my heart and laid down to sleep.
“Let the worst happen!”
To be continued…….
Haaaaaaa! I pity this girl oooo
Please you people should pray for her.
The next episode is going to blow your mind. Get ready to see what happens next.
Juliet is seriously looking for war!
GO TO THE BARRACKS AND ASK THE COMMANDER TRAINING THE SOLDIERS THAT QUESTION. ASK HIM IF HE CARES ABOUT THE FEELINGS OF THE SOLDIERS HE IS PREPARING TO CONQUER TERRITORIES.
ASK HIM IF HE HAS TIME TO PAMPER THEM AND GIVE THEM BREAD AND BUTTER. ASK HIM IF HE WAS TIME TO LISTEN TO SOLDIERS CRYING BECAUSE THE TRAINING IS TOO MUCH.
ALL THE TRAINING IS FOR WHAT? TO MAKE YOU INDOMITABLE. TO MAKE YOU UNDEFEATABLE. TO MAKE YOU A TERROR TO THE KINGDOM OF DARKNESS. TO MAKE YOU ABLE TO REVENGE ON THE DEVIL FOR WHAT HE DID TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND.
AND YOU’RE CRYING BECAUSE THE TRAINING IS DIFFICULT. I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU OOO! DO YOU WANT THE ENEMY TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE? DO YOU WANT THEM TO TURN YOU INTO A LESBIAN? JULIET I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU OOO!
LET ME ASK YOU A SINCERE QUESTION. DO YOU EVEN LOVE YOURSELF?
This message is for someone
INSPIRED BY THE BREAD OF LIFE
WRITTEN BY AYO OMOLAYO
YOUR BROTHER IN CHRIST 🙏
